The One Where Kerk Did A Phenomenal Job Documenting Japan

Every time I meet someone new in Korea, they usually ask if I speak any Korean; until recently, I always answered with a sheepish, "No...sorry." But then something happened that made me realize my vocabulary isn't so bad. After all, I know how to say yes/no, hello/goodbye, thank you and 'how much?' I can order water or beer, noodles or rice, beef or pork. Most importantly, I can ask where to find a bathroom. What made me suddenly appreciate how much Korean I speak? I went to Japan.

Whoa. Hey there, Japan.

Here's a strange thing I've learned about myself: when encountering an unknown language my brain defaults to any words I know in any language other than English. In Korea, I sometimes get the impulse to answer in my very poor Spanish. The same thing happened in Japan, I'd panic and blurt out Korean. During our first not-so-successful ordering attempt, Mans and I said in frustration, "I have no clue, I wish this menu was in Hangul!" "I know, then we could at least read it!" We looked at one another in surprise as we realized we'd wished for Hangul before we mentioned English. Did we really just express a longing to read Korean? Talk about a change in perspective!

We were able to take a trip because of Chuseok; often explained to Westerners as Korean Thanksgiving, people eat special food (albeit rice cakes, not turkey), visit with relatives and honor their ancestors. Since we had no family to visit, we headed to Osaka and couchsurfed with some English teachers who offered great advice about their city.

Yodo River in Osaka (yes, we kept calling it the Yoda). As I was taking this, a man on a bicycle wearing a hawaiian shirt stopped and said he was happy to spot us because never sees foreigners on the bridge. He introduced himself as Mark Fukuoka and then proceeded to tell us every bad English riddle he knows: "Whats the longest word English? Smiles- there's a mile between two S's. What's America's national flower? The CAR-nation."

We were standing next to this little shine and we had been wondering about it; Mark explained it was one of many small memorials around Japan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I immediately felt guilty and I wasn't alone because in perfect unison Mans and I exclaimed, "Wow, I'm so sorry!" Mark looked genuinely confused, "Why?" he asked kindly. "You didn't do it, you were not born yet!" It was surprising how nice that was to hear.

Osaka is home to Tenjimbashisuji Sontengai (my spell-check hates me so much right now). It's the longest covered shopping street in the world and there we caught our first glimpses of Japanese arcade culture. Put yen into an a claw machine and you could go home with:

A LIVE puffer fish! Or...

...a Disney character who dropped acid and has reverted to cannibalism. Why, Minnie? Whyyyyyy?

Alternatively, put coins into a photo booth. Haven't you always wanted to be-

 in a banana? Wait, what the hell?

Or try your hand at Pachinko, a gambling game that appears to be slot machine meets pinball meets Aladdin's Castle (gambling for money is illegal so you win tokens exchangeable for goods). If you're not from a po'dunk town in the Midwest and don't know what Aladdin's Castle is, I feel really sorry for you.

Where does one park one's car at the world's largest covered shopping street? Trick question!

The bike culture in Japan is incredible, everyone's got one: grandmas, young moms (with a seat for the baby in front and one for the big sibling on back), businessmen in three piece suits. Major kudos to the Japanese for their efforts to combat global warming-- obesity too! We had a hard time adjusting to traveling on the left, but I came to understand why older Koreans can never seem to pick a side to walk on; in Korea, people drive and walk on the right, but during the Japanese occupation they had to do both on the left following Japan's laws. No wonder the elderly folk just plow straight down the middle.

The second day we took a day-trip to Nara by train. Nara was Japan's first capital way back in the day, it's full of temples, gardens, and places to nerd out over history. Fantastic.

Sika deer wander freely and are incredibly tame, as they've grown up being hand-fed by tourists.

The happy little Nara mascot, part Buddha, part sika deer.

Todai-ji Temple, the largest wooden structure in the world and houses an enormous bronze Buddha.

To give some perspective, the Buddha's ear is over 8 feet tall...

On our return we had trouble with the ticket machine and a Japanese man about our age helped us (we nicknamed him Kyo-- the middle name of my dear friend Ross). We ended up taking the train back with Kyo and he told us tons about Japanese history and the ever tempestuous Japan/Korea relations. He even said quietly, "Some of us are actually part Korean, we just don't talk about it." The same thing happens in Korea-- once during a conversation about a student I was told, "He's half Japanese, you know..." as if that might be an explanation for his poor performance in class.

Dontonbori, a hip downtown area in Osaka, for dinner. This was Japan from the movies, we walked up and down the street a number of times dazzled by neon.

As evening fell we wandered through side streets packed with bars that could seat around six people. We popped into one such place and that's when we met Shinhae and Mina...

We sat down next to them and when we proved willing to talk, they kept us there for hours. Their English was limited so we borrowed a marker from the bartender and wrote words and illustrations on napkins. Mina kept stroking my hair and whispered confidentially, "Extensions?" When we admitted that we had not yet tried takoyaki (octopus dumplings) Mina ran out, only to return minutes later with two heaping trays. She literally fed us, while holding a cupped hand under our chins indicating that we could spit them out if we didn't like it! Finally, we tried to head to the subway but Shinhae called a cab and they rode with us to direct the driver (even though they lived on the opposite side of the city). They refused to take any money and Shinhae shook our hands while Mina gave us huge hugs before they drove off.

The next day we awoke early to continue on our journey on to Kyoto. But that's a whole 'nother story.

To be continued...